Facebook
by AryaTyrell
Summary: The Doctor gets a Facebook. Hilarity shall ensue.
1. Chapter 1

**I know, I know. "HOPELESSROMANTIC99! THIS IS YOUR 3RD STORY YOU'VE STARTED (and probably won't finish) ABOUT FACEBOOK! RRRRGHH!" **

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><p><strong>The Doctor <strong>is now friends with **Amy Pond, Rory Williams, ****River Song, and TARDIS. **

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><p><strong>The Doctor<strong> Okay, so I got a Facebook. Happy, **Amy Pond**?

**Amy Pond **Well, at least you're not using my account anymore.

**Rory Williams **...Was that why there was a post on my wall saying, "Rory, get a life and stop wasting time on here?"

**River Song likes this. **

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><p><strong>The Doctor <strong>I don't understand this at all... I feel like I'm stalking everyone .

**Amy Pond **That's what Facebook pretty much is.

**The Doctor **Why use Facebook if you can talk to someone face to face? Absolute rubbish. Who invented this?

**Amy Pond **Mark Zuckerburg. He's American, I think.

**The Doctor **American! Of course. Did you know that America is not sinking due to the rising sea levels but because of the increasing amount of fat people?

**Rory Williams and River Song like this. **

**Amy Pond **What about Craig, that bloke you roomed with last year? You said he was a sofa man.

**The Doctor **There's a difference from being a sofa man and being lazy.

**Amy Pond **Sureee.

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><p><strong>Amy Pond <strong>I hate you all.

**The Doctor **I love you too, Amelia.

**Rory Williams **Sigh...

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><p><strong>Amy Pond<strong> **The Doctor **It's sad that a machine got a Facebook before you did.

**TARDIS, Rory Williams, and River Song like this. **

**The Doctor **Hm. Never knew it could do that. See, I learn something new every day.

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><p><strong>The Doctor <strong>is now friends with **Dalek 1A. **

**Amy Pond **Never thought I'd live to see the day.

**Rory Williams and TARDIS like this. **

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><p><strong>The Doctor <strong>Will someone please tell me what :) is? It's just a pointless group of punctuation symbols!

**Rory Williams **It's a smiley face, Doctor.

**The Doctor **How?

**Rory Williams **Look at it sideways...

**The Doctor **Well, what's the point in that? Have to turn your head sideways to see it properly...

**Rory Williams **-.-"

**The Doctor **What's that?

**Rory Williams ** An annoyed face with a vein bulging.

**The Doctor **No it's not. I'm even looking at it sideways this time.

**Rory Williams **No, this time you look at it right side up.

**The Doctor **WHAT. THE. BLOODY. HELL.

**Amy Pond likes this. **

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><p><strong>So there's a little snippet of what's to come. If you like, review, PM me, or add it to your favorites! You know the drill. <strong>

**BTW, I'll be springing *Awesome Fun Bonus Chapters* randomly in the story, which is really just a look at the character's Facebook profiles. Should be fun. Keep an eye out for those! :) **

**XX. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Amy Pond has posted a new photo album: "My Wedding." **

**Rory Williams, the Doctor River Song, TARDIS, Martha Jones, and Augustus Pond like this. **

**Martha Jones **Amy! That dress! I want it.

**Amy Pond **Sorry, it was a rental.

**Martha Jones **Ha, remember when Rory screwed up the color for it? X)

**Amy Pond **Ugh.

**Rory Williams** In my defense, I thought cream and ivory were the same thing.

**Amy Pond **No, dickwad. Ivory is a brighter white than cream.

**River Song and the Doctor like this. **

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><p><strong>The Doctor <strong>is now friends with **The Dream Lord. **

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><p><strong>Rory Williams <strong>Advice for marrying a girl:

1. Never try and trick her just to... guys, you know what I mean.

2. If she steals the remote while you're watching ESPN, don't steal it back.

3. Never delete her VH1 programs off of On Demand.

**Amy Pond, the Doctor, River Song, and TARDIS like this. **

**Amy Pond **Right.

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><p><strong>Amy Pond <strong>Okay everyone, so I was thinking... we should all change our names to a celebrity's for one day. Anybody in?

**Rory Williams **I kind of have to...

**River Song **Freakin. Awesome.

**Martha Jones **Yay!

**TARDIS **:)

**The Doctor **Fine...

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><p><strong>Kendall Jenner <strong>Wow, this is weird.

**Elvis Presley, Liam Dryden, the DeLorean, Ke$ha, Kylie Jenner, and Barty Crouch Jr. like this. **

**Kylie Jenner **You're telling me.

**Kendall Jenner **...Martha?

**Kylie Jenner **...Amy?

**Kendall Jenner **Weirdness factor just went up to the nth degree.

**Kylie Jenner likes this. **

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><p><strong>Liam Dryden <strong>You'll never guess who I am.

**Barty Crouch Jr. **Dream Lord?

**Liam Dryden **No... maybe.. yes.

**Kendall Jenner **Why Liam Dryden?

**Liam Dryden **He wrote a song about dreams! :)

**Kylie Jenner **Actually, about nightmares...

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><p><strong>Kendall Jenner <strong>Who the hell is Elvis Presley?

**Barty Crouch Jr. **Who do you think?

**Kendall Jenner **Rory -_-

**Barty Crouch Jr. **What's that?

**Kendall Jenner** An annoyed face. Wait... Doctor?

**Barty Crouch Jr. **Damn.

**Kendall Jenner **Why use a... Harry Potter character?

**Barty Crouch Jr. **Because he looks just like my tenth incarnation in the movie! He's even got the mole right!

**Kendall Jenner **Uh... okay, Doctor.

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><p><strong>Kendall Jenner Elvis Presley <strong>Why, Rory? WHY? Of all people!

**Elvis Presley **Elvis is cool.

**Barty Crouch Jr. **Hey, go get your own catchphrase.

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><p><strong>Kendall Jenner <strong>I was not aware that I was **Ke$ha's **mother...

**Ke$ha, Barty Crouch Jr., Kylie Jenner, and the Delorean like this. **

**Elvis Presley **Wait... River?

**Ke$ha **Hey, crackheads. As Ke$ha would say.

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><p><strong>Ke$ha <strong>Did we figure out who's who yet?

**Barty Crouch Jr. **Yeah, think so.

**Elvis Presley **Yeah.

**The DeLorean ***HONKS*

**Barty Crouch Jr. **TARDIS! :)

**Barty Crouch Jr. **Aha! I have mastered the use of punctuation faces.

**Kendall Jenner **What's a DeLorean?

**Elvis Presley **You know, Marty Mcfly's time machine from 'Back To The Future.'

**Kendall Jenner **No, I don't know.

**Elvis Presley **How could you not know? Doctor, we must take her to 1985 so she can see the film.

**Barty Crouch Jr. **Agreed, only after she sees Harry Potter.

**Elvis Presley **Okay...

**Kendall Jenner **-_-


	3. Chapter 3

**Yayy! It's time for... AN AWESOME BONUS FUN CHAPTER! :) **

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><p><strong>The Doctor<br>Studied at **University of Nonsense **- Lives in **A blue police box** - ****From **Gallifrey **- Works as a **Time Lord

**Basic Information**

**About You: **Err... hello. Amy made me do this.

**Relationship Status: **Married

**Sex: **Male

**Work and Education **

**Grad School: **Hogwarts

**College: **University of Nonsense

**Occupation: **Saving the universe countless times

**Philosophy**

**Religious Views: **Atheist (no, wait, atheism is a religion now, isn't it?)

**Favorite Quotations: **"If there's a subject that's impossible, it's this. In comparison it makes the Untempered Schism a piece of piss."

"Oi! Don't diss the sonic!"

"What in God's name are you wearing on your head?"

"Bow ties are cool."

"Fezzes are cool."

**Sports **

**Favorite Sports:** Football, running away from aliens

**Arts and Entertainment **

**Music: **Chameleon Circuit, The Girls in the Fireplace, Bad Wolf Bay

**Books: **Harry Potter, Gone With The Wind, To Kill A Mockingbird, etc etc.

**Television: **What?


	4. Chapter 4

**Amy Pond The Doctor **There's just one thing you need, something to beeeelieeevvee in...

**Rory Williams, Martha Jones, and River Song like this. **

**The Doctor **Been listening to Chameleon Circuit lately?

**Amy Pond** Yup.

**Martha Jones **I call dibs on Charlie!

**Amy Pond** I call Alex!

**Rory Williams **Well then.

**The Doctor and Amy Pond like this. **

**The Doctor **Bryarly's alright...

**River Song **Watch it, mister.

**Amy Pond, Rory Williams, and TARDIS like this. **

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><p><strong>Pond <strong>Watching "The Goonies"... sigh. Sean Astin was so cute in this.

**Martha Jones **Corey Feldman was cute, too.

**Amy Pond** Yeahhh... now they're just really... uhh.. different.

**Rory Williams **They're digging for treasure, and all you can think about is how cute they are?

**Amy Pond **It's one of the things we women do. Just because _you _can't do it...

**The Doctor **No, he still does it.

**Amy Pond and Martha Jones like this. **

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><p><strong>Rory Williams Amy Pond <strong>Since you're so interested in 80's movies, why don't you go see 'Back to the Future'?

**Amy Pond **Is there a good looking protagonist?

**Rory Williams **You could say that.

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><p><strong>Rory Williams The Doctor <strong>Doctor, the time has come for **Amy Pond **to see 'Back to the Future.'

**The Doctor, TARDIS, and Rory Williams like this. **

**The Doctor ***gasp*

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><p><strong>Amy Pond Mcfly <strong>I'm in love :3

**Rory Williams **kay, here's what I don't understand: you marry me, a living breathing person, and you don't change your name. Then you meet with this fictional character for two hours and suddenly you change your name? WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS?

**Amy Pond Mcfly, The Doctor, Martha Jones, and River Song like this. **

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><p><strong>Amy Pond Mcfly The Doctor <strong>Doctor, a DeLorean would be much more convenient than a blue box. At least then we could time travel in style .

**TARDIS, Rory Williams, and Martha Jones like this. **

**The Doctor **Why are you agreeing with her? Stupid box...

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><p><strong>The Doctor TARDIS <strong>I'm very sorry for calling you a stupid box. Will you please take us to May 1985?

**TARDIS likes this. **

**Rory Williams **Why 1985?

**The Doctor **Amy wants to see the premier of "The Goonies"

**Rory Williams **But she's already seen the movie.

**Amy Pond Mcfly **So?

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><p><strong>Amy Pond Mcfly Walsh-Deveraux <strong>I'm in love. Again. :3

**Rory Williams **Sigh...

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><p><strong><span>AN:<span> For those of you who have seen the Goonies and Back to the Future, SEVERAL MILLION VIRTUAL HUGS! **

**PS: "Deveraux" was Mouth's last name. **


	5. Chapter 5

**The Doctor is now friends with Jack Harkness. **

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><p><strong>Jack Harkness <strong>**The Doctor **Got a new face, I see. Lookin' good for 907! :)

**The Doctor likes this. **

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><p><strong>Martha Jones <strong>Girl, look at that body.

**Amy Pond **Girl, look at that body.

**River Song **Girl, look at that body.

**Rory Williams **I-I-I work out.

**Martha Jones **When I walk in the spa, this is what I see

**Amy Pond **Everybody stops and is staring at me

**The Doctor **I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it

**Martha Jones **O.e

**Amy Pond **Doctor? You listen to LMFAO?

**The Doctor **Shh... don't tell anyone...

**TARDIS** ...I'm sexy and I know it.

**Amy Pond, Martha Jones, River Song, Rory Williams, and Jack Harkness like this. **

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><p><strong>Amy Pond <strong>The Doctor has been blasting Nicki Minaj at full volume. MAKE IT STOP!

**The Doctor **Boom ba doom boom boom ba doom boom boom ba doom boom bass, yeah, super bass...

**River Song, Martha Jones, and Jack Harkness like this. **

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><p><strong>Amy Pond <strong>He ill, he real, he might gotta deal, he pop bottles and he got the right kind of deal, he cold, he dope, he might sell coke, he always in the air but he never fly coach... Jesus. Christ. I'm actually starting to memorize the lyrics. SAVE ME!

**Martha Jones and River Song like this. **

**River Song **At least you're not married to him.

**Amy Pond **True, true.


End file.
